Posted by: loungekitten | May 3, 2010

What Is In A Name?

A few weeks ago, I was reading a topic on Ravelry about changing names (real-life names, not Ravelry IDs).  I’ve long since decided that my name is my name, and I’m not going to change it if I ever get married.  It is a deal-breaker.  Of course some people laugh at me when I say that, but seriously I wouldn’t want to be with someone who would insist that I change the name for I’ve had for the past thirty-some years.  Who would be that insecure?  Other people tell me things like, oh, you’re going to want to have the same name as your kids.  Ummm, no, I’m not going to care.  Their friends can call me Mrs. Cleaver, even if my last name is Smith, and I won’t care.  I wouldn’t even correct anyone who called me by the wrong last name in a social setting.

Now out in the world, it would be different.  I’ve had a professional career, and if I ever had to resurrect that career (doubtful at this point, but for the sake of argument) I’d have to constantly remind people, “Hey, I used to be Smith, now I’m Cleaver.”  Not to mention all the problems with Social Security, and the government at large.  It’s a giant pain in the neck and not worth it at this point in my life.

Men don’t have to deal with these issues so they’d never understand.  The sexism involved with the social convention of name changing doesn’t really bother me.  It’s just how it’s been done, and I’ve got no problems with customs and traditions.  For me it’s more of a personal issue and the bother of the whole mess.

Plus, a lot of the time when I introduce myself people tell me my name sounds like the name of a movie star.  No one on IMDb has my name yet!  I have to admit my name does sort of roll off the tongue, sort of in the same way “Brigitte Bardot” does.


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